Submit really means faith in God

There are some women in my life who have been asking me about the dirty word of chrstianity, SUBMIT. What does it mean to submit? Does it really apply to today? I am not sure I am an authority on this topic. I have not been the most submissive wife. I have, though, changed and grown up a lot since the first year of our marriage.

During our first year of marriage, I had no trust for my husband in any area. Particularly, money, though. He was not good at paying his bills, and we were both a mess financially. I took the reigns of our money at first and I was able to pay down some bills and fix stuff. Then, it all got messy. Finally, at one point, I felt God tell me to give him the checkbook and have him take care of the finances. I needed to trust him. And he did that for a couple years.
Then he gave it back to me. He was busy going to school and didn’t have time for it, and since I was home it made sense at the time. We went along like that for awhile, but for the last couple years, I have felt in over my head. Now we have his student loans and credit card debt, and the burden of all that stuff was proving to be too much for my heart. So, I began begging him to take it back. I needed him to carry the burden, and to see where we were at financially. For years, he went about completely clueless. I say this without meaning to disrespect, just explaining the situation. He would ask me if he could buy something, or spend money, and I would say yes or no. Rarely no, because it’s his money, I felt I owed him something. Yet, all I could see was us going further and further into debt, and me further and further into FREAK OUT mode about our finances.
Finally, about three months ago, my husband took over our finances. I have had the reigns though for so long, that my controlling freak side began to come out of me. Instead of laying down my burden and relaxing, I felt panic begin to set in even more. I lost that trust I had in Dustin to be able to handle it. But the truth is, he is better able to handle it then he used to be, because he is an engineer and more meticulous about little things then he ever used to be.
I have felt God once again calling to me, telling me, that by allowing Dustin to hold the reigns of our finances truly means having FAITH IN GOD. God chose Dustin to lead my family, and me trusting him with our family finances is definitely trusting God with my whole heart. God never fails, people do. So, submitting to my husband is truly submitting to God’s will for my life and allowing Him to take care of me the way He loves to do.

God doesn’t call us to submit because he thinks we are stupid women, but because He is a God who has ordained blessings to flow through authority. He gave us husbands to be the authority in our home, and through him God can bless us and take care of us.

Have faith in God today, women!

Peaceful

I have truly been living out my word for this year, SEEK!

I have been seeking Him constantly. I am so much more peaceful when I am seeking His face regularly. Putting Him first place in my life, and allowing the other pieces to fall into place. I feel His guidance.

I have been hearing the word, “simplify”. I know God wants us to live a more simple lifestyle. To homeschool more simply. My house needs to be more simple. I need to purge, and I have done some, and some organizing. I need to dig deeper. This is going to take some time.

I have been exercising regularly for two weeks now. I have lost 4 pounds. That’s small in comparison to what I need to lose, but it’s still something and I need to rejoice in my small victory. I am working my butt off AND trying to make better food choices. In the end, I know it will pay off. I must have endurance to run this race. God gives much grace.

I am doing the Ephesians study from goodmorninggirls.org. It’s a nice simple approach to bible study and I love that it is on Ephesians. One of my favorite books of the bible. We are only on day 4, I know it’s going to get better and better.

I think my brain is fizzling this morning since I have been up since before 4:30 when I heard my older girls whispering in their bedroom, not sleeping. I was supposed to get up at 5:30, so at 5 after fighting with them for a half hour, I decided that it would be pointless to go back to bed for a half hour. I admit, I am now tired. Maybe I will get more sleep later today. Maybe a nap? That is non-existent in this house.

I am off for the day!

Birthdays…

Yesterday was Audrey’s birthday and today is Elijah’s birthday. We kind of celebrate birthdays together because we don’t want to make too much cake and ice cream. LOL. We just don’t need two whole cakes two days in a row. I think the kids understand. I try to explain it to them the best I can and I try to make them feel special. It’s really hard with their birthdays being so close together, and they are all just after Christmas and New Years.
Yesterday on Audrey’s birthday, it started snowing, something we haven’t had much of this year. I told the kids it was snowing and Audrey got all excited and said, “I prayed to Jesus that it would snow on my birthday!” Oh my heart was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed that my daughter’s relationship with Jesus is becoming strong enough that she asks Him for things like snow on her birthday and she sees the answer to prayer. I know it’s something little, but it is such a remarkable change from even a year ago. It makes all the challenges worth it.
Elijah has been going through some emotional stuff this week. He is a good boy, but he has this temper that I just do not know what to do with. I pray for him, try to teach him coping mechanisms, discipline, hug him, so many things. I just do not see the changes I want to see. He gets so worked up over the dumbest things. I pray some day I will see the end of this.
Yesterday we spend the day learning about how to read recipes and measuring out our ingredients for birthday cake and frosting. We watched Beakman’s world for science on Netflix. We read our bibles and Stuart Little, and watched the third Stuart Little book. We practiced our math facts. I needed a day off from our worksheets, but still wanted to do school. That was my solution.
I feel like this post is more of a documentation of my day then it is inspirational. It’s all I got today.

Being transparent for a moment

I am a very open and honest person, I think. Well, I know I am. I have been known a time or two to offend people, unintentionally with my ability to say what I think. I also have been known a time or two to open up my big fat mouth just a little too much and reveal pretty much the total contents of my heart and mind. Ay!
I have felt very lost concerning friendships, and I haven’t quite known what an adult friendship should look like. What do you do when you disagree? Or what if someone hurts you? I believe in forgiveness, totally, but does that mean a friendship should go on or stop? Just because I forgive someone doesn’t mean I need to endure that kind of treatment again and again. At least that is what I think.
I think I have a way about me, that even though I am saying one thing out my mouth, somehow people interpret it to mean something else. Or at least that is what I am wondering.
Truthfully, when I say I care about someone and consider them a friend, that is no small feat for me. I am genuine. I mean what I say. I am sacrificial, many times I put others needs before my own personal needs. I won’t sacrifice my kids for others though, and sometimes that can be interpreted as I don’t care about that person, but not so. I just need to take care of my family FIRST.
My hugest challenge, how to make friends who actually have stuff in common with me? And then, how to truly make them my friend and keep them my friend. LOL. I long for a close connection with a godly friend, who thinks like me and wants to seek God like I do, and who will pray with me. I am not sure how to accomplish this. I have been praying and asking God for this for years. We keep moving, though, and that’s not helpful. One of the hazards of being an air force wife, I suppose.
I am really afraid of venturing out there and letting people know that I want to be their friend. Will I be accepted? Will I be rejected? Is it safe to let others know what I am thinking and feeling? Will I be judged? I so want authentic and real relationships.

This is my heart and what I am laying on the alter with God at the moment….

Encouraged

Sometimes at odd times of the day, I quiz my children on things they have been learning like bible stories, their times tables, etc. I just want to see how much they are learning, whether or not they are understanding what we are learning, and what they remember. It’s interesting to see their answers. I can gauge how far we have come, where our weaknesses are, and things like that.

This year, we have really stuck to a schedule of reading their children’s bibles every day and we even memorize one scripture a week. I cannot believe how much they have learned in such a small amount of time. I have always exposed them to the bible, but not quite so concentrated. I was quizzing them the other day and they were doing so well answering the questions, I was honestly impressed. I feel so privileged to be able to teach my children myself and put into them the things I feel are so valuable and important to their lives. I am thankful that I can put God first in our studies and I can see my children grow spiritually. It’s so exciting!

a display of His splendor….

Psalm 27:4
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

Isaiah 60:21
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

21 Then will all your people be righteous
and they will possess the land forever.
They are the shoot I have planted,
the work of my hands,
for the display of my splendor.

Psalm 17:15
As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.

Isaiah 61:3
and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

God’s words speak for themselves….

ONE WORD 2012

In 2010, my one word was TRUST. I can honestly say, I did indeed grow deeper in trust in God all throughout that year.
2011, my one word was connected. Not a fancy word, but it did speak my heart at that time, which was desiring to stop trying to escape the life I was given and to remain connected to God, and my family every day. It was a struggle, but I learned so much, and I did indeed grow in this area as well.
This leads me to this year’s word. I have been searching for just the right word. For me, it’s a word that exemplifies my goals for the year. This is the one thing I really want to focus on for the year, so I can grow as a person. My heart is at a point where it desires to SEEK God on a deeper level, to finally break through the barriers that have held me back from a deeper, closer relationship with God.

My one word for 2012 is SEEK! So glad to have finally found the word I will focus on. I hope you found your word also.

Psalm 27:8
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek.

Psalm 105:4
Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

Proverbs 8:17
I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

Jeremiah 29:11 -14      11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.

Look here to find out more about ONE WORD 2012 www.gritandglory.com

Thinking about the New Year

2012 is upon us…. Every year I set some goals, usually nothing too crazy. This year, I plan to make a list of things I want to do, and to put it somewhere I can see it regularly and reflect on how to achieve those goals.

I know that I want to grow more spiritually. So, I am setting some bible study goals for myself. I know I want to go deeper then I have before. It’s going to take me time to learn how to truly study the bible. I have some tools, but I want to be quicker, and less frustrated.
I am also setting some goals of books I want to read in the new year. This list will be expanded upon as the year goes on. For now I already have 10 books I want to read on my list. I am excited about this challenge.
Next on my list, getting healthier. I want to exercise several times a week, and eat more vegetables and fruit. This is going to take some work on my part, but I am already working towards this goal. I also plan to drink a lot more water. I haven’t been taking good care of myself and it’s time for that to change.
I have signed up two years in a row to do the “one word” challenge from gritandglory.com. I will be doing that again this year though I have not decided upon my word yet. I really need to decide on that in the next day or so.
I am going to challenge myself this year to get to know my neighbors, and to get out and be around more people. I need to get involved in a church and stick to it. Even if it’s hard. Pray for us that God leads us to the right church.
That’s my plans for the next year. I need to put it all down on paper though. Happy 2012 friends!

Meaningful quotes and poems I have found and saved over the years…..

Well, my most quoted one is….

Preach the gospel to every creature, and if necessary use words… by St. Fracis

Just found these today though and thought this was a great place to share my treasured nuggets….. (not sure who wrote them, except one)

Faith

When you’re standing in the light of all that you know,
and you’re ready to step out into darkness,
faith is knowing one of two things will happen…
you will be given solid ground to stand on
or you will be given wings to fly….

Who Enters here with good intent, go forth with Blessings sent. (when I was a teenager, I used to babysit at a rich person’s cabin for their children, this was engraved in the wood on their mantle, I Loved it)

I come here often to find myself. It is so easy to get lost in the world. by John Burrouws (just found out who wrote this online, but it’s also from the cabin)

and lastly….

We must always leave room for mistakes when we look up to someone….. (hmmm, food for thought for me)

Where to begin?

So…. this year has brought about so many changes to my life. Some are good changes, like homeschooling and all that entails. Better relationships with my children, and my husband, most days. One thing I just didn’t see coming is that I made some really great friendships with some incredible ladies, and two of those friendships imploded in the last four months. Two different situations, both I feel I had absolutely no control over. I am left feeling incredibly dumbfounded and reeling. And yet, in both situations I saw it coming, it was like God showed me it was coming. I had no idea how to get out of the situations, but I felt like the friendships were ending and I just patiently waited for the impending doom.
God has His hands in this…. How can I say such a thing? Cause I just know… and I trust my Father and His plan for my life. Oh for a second, I had a pity party… but then He reminded me…. I have had my face in the word, and in prayer, and this is a storm that has come to beat against my house….What is it built upon? Will it stand?

I was watching Beth Moore on Life Today earlier, and she was talking about when the storm comes, that the boat will be broke into pieces, but you will be ok. And it reminded me of a word that was given to me years and years ago by Dr. Barclay. I am so pulling out that word and going to listen to it, and I am going to study the scriptures she was referring to. I know there is something there for me.
There are other situations in my life and I know that this is a perfect storm in my life….

So, as a result, I have pulled myself off from facebook. I need a time of consecrating myself to God and to seek Him and find the next step and the answers only He has. This is something I believe God has been speaking to my heart but I was too chicken to do it. There were too many positives to having a facebook, I didn’t want to lose the precious friends and family I have. If they truly love me, they will pursue me. That’s all there is to that.

Pray that for me and His strength to strengthen me to my core….. This is one of those times that could truly make or break me.