Absent… or MIA

Here I am!

In mid December, I hit a wall in life. I was burned out. Busted. I couldn’t get it together. I kept trying. It was awful. I was fighting my spiral down with everything in me, but I just couldn’t figure out a way out of it.  So… I quit. Yep, I quit homeschooling. Ugh. I put my children back into public school, and I cried. I cried because I hated it. I cried because I missed them. I cried because I didn’t miss them. I cried because my identity was changing. I cried because I absolutely hate everything that public school stands for. Then I cried because my husband wouldn’t let me change my mind. It’s been a mess. We did take our oldest daughter out of the middle school she was in, and put her back home with me. My other three at this time are not coming home until the end of the semester. Holding on through this semester is AWFUL!!!! For me and the kids!!! But I have chosen to honor my husband, even though I disagree very strongly.

I do not like public schools. I like some teachers, but I believe good teachers are bound up by laws and regulations. I hate the hierarchy that says that teachers know what is best for my children above what I know. I have to request permission for my children to not participate in gym class when they have a cough. Or request that they not see a movie. etc. What? No, schools should answer to parents. They work for us. I shouldn’t have to explain to the school why I the parent decided my kids are too sick for school and fear the dreaded truancy call. That’s stupid.

What I have realized is that my strong opinions offend other parents because they have chosen the opposite. They think I am wrong…. and I feel strongly for my own family what is right. I wish I would of held onto this in December when I was falling apart.

Also, in the last couple months, my family has been sick over and over again. Right now I think we have the flu. It’s awful and I can’t wait to be over it. It resulted in a double ear infection in my sweet 4 year old. Praying we get over this quickly…..

Thanks for listening to me!

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4 thoughts on “Absent… or MIA

  1. Oh, I missed you Anna! Hi. I am sorry you have been going through so much. We put my oldest into a middle school back when we were in Poland. I hated it. But, after a semester, we gave her the choice and she came back home.

    I agree with you. It is crazy how just because teachers have a degree in education they think they know more. It’s also crazy when the parents of others students are so indoctrinated with that belief they don’t see their parental rights slowly diminishing. Hang in there. The semester will be over soon. :)

  2. Oh my goodness, sweetie! Bless your heart! I’m praying for you. I could easily be in your shoes, but my husband is the one that MAKES me stick with homeschooling when I want to throw in the towel, and I’d gladly drop them off at public school. I’m totally with you. Praying the summer comes quickly and you can start a clean slate with homeschooling. What was going wrong? Care to share?

    • Hi Elizabeth,
      Thanks for reading my blog! I am not the most faithful blogger, but I go in spurts. I have enjoyed reading your blog lately.
      Actually I just took my kids back out of school and I was getting ready to write about that also. LOL.
      What was going wrong with homeschooling was that my son has a bit of a temper, and he can be very stubborn about doing what he wants to do and what he doesn’t want to do. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically. I couldn’t find my way out of it at the time. I really have had a transformation in my heart since then though. We also have been working very closely with a Physical therapist, an occupational therapist, and a psychologist about my son’s issues. I am finding that it has more to do with loud noises and sisters being in his space than anything else. We are working on a reward system. I hope it works. I am praying it works. I am praying that I can keep my patience and keep a good schedule. :)
      I also had thought it was a great idea to do something for me, and took on a college class. I am now in my 4th class, and I am seriously regretting doing this right now. So after this class, I will take a break. It just doesn’t work for our family right now. But I really struggle with feeling like life is so monotonous, that all I am good for is cooking, cleaning, and laundry. LOL

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