It’s strange, as a married mom of 5, I have become so acutely aware of how desperately I need women friendships. Yet, I find that this time in my life is the time where I have the hardest time making friends. When I was a teenager and young adult, I had close friendships and I spent a lot of time with them. I think at that time I thought we would always be such good friends. They are still present in my life, just not the same. A huge reason is because we have moved so much and I do not live close to my friends.
For ten years, I have not found a friend that I really have a heart connection with. I spend a lot of time longing for that. I was so thrilled that a friend from my past was moving to the area we live in now, and I had hoped that we would once again have a heart connection. We met up the other day for coffee, and while I enjoyed getting caught up, I left her house feeling hugely disappointed at the lack of connection we had. I so desperately need a christian girlfriend to pray with, talk about God with, love our children together, and just be truly friends with. And I know that isn’t going to be found there. This threw me into a sadness. I spent the whole drive home crying out to God for a friend….. I just kept crying out in my heart, “I want friends, God, I want friends”.
I truly love my husband and my children and my life is full. It really is, but I need to know and be known by someone on a deeper level. I just do. I feel like a whiny butt.