I think I need food to make me happy. Lately, I am barely holding on emotionally. My husband decided almost a year ago to pursue going back into the Air Force, and I am okay with that. What I am not okay with, is him having to leave me and our 5 kids alone while he goes to training for several months. I don’t really have a choice, unless I want to tell him he can’t pursue his “dream”. Then he would resent me for the rest of his life for stopping him from his dream. So, instead I am stuffing my emotions down with food. It isn’t the worst I have ever been, but I did break down and get a cappuccino yesterday, and we had bought the kids chocolates for Valentine’s day and I find myself grazing on them all day long. 😦 Not good.
I feel powerless against the power of food. I wish I wasn’t so alone. That’s how I feel alone and abandoned. My Dh isn’t gone yet, and we have 10 weeks until he leaves. I hope I can get a handle on this before then. 😦