I know exactly what is going on. It’s so frustrating, I want to raise my hands and say, “I give up”. I know that I can’t do that, for so many reasons.
This isn’t JUST about getting “skinny” for me. This is about being healthy, taking care of me, being here for my husband and kids for a long time. Not only those reasons, but it is also about conquering the desire to be dependent on food for comfort and turning to the Holy Spirit to comfort me. This is hugely challenging, because food is quick and easy. Going to God takes vulnerability and surrender. Besides that, it requires time, time that I don’t always have. I have no pause button for my children to give me 5 minutes I need to recharge in a moment of frustration, or sadness.
I will keep going though. I will keep pursuing. Every day is a brand NEW day. If I did badly today, I have tomorrow. If I did bad this morning, I have the rest of the day. Every moment is a new moment and I must keep going.
So, I have stalled out in my weight loss, but in an effort to keep going, I am kicking it up a notch. Instead of the 2 mile walking dvd, today I did the 3 mile. (Which is so hard for me I can barely do it all, but I push through and make it) I want to do this more often. Just because I believe I can’t.
I will keep going! I have to keep going!
1 O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in your sanctuary
and gazed upon your power and glory.
3 Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
how I praise you!
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.
6 I lie awake thinking of you,
meditating on you through the night.
7 Because you are my helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you;
your strong right hand holds me securely.
I keep hearing a song that I heard a long time ago that comes from this scripture, but is worded a little differently…
My soul follows hard after thee,
early in the morning shall I rise up and seek thee
and because thou has been my help,
under the shadow of they wings,
I will rejoice….
I am saying to my soul today, “Seek after God… Follow hard after Him.” I know when I do that His word says I will find Him. He shall be my comfort. He will be exactly what His word says He will be.