Yes, I actually have a moment. Everyone is sleeping… including the husband, whom I love, but whom also gets a lot of attention from me when he is home. Well, that is when the kids are not demanding all my attention. 🙂
So, MY word for the year is…. Connected!
I want my year to be about staying connected. Staying connected to Jesus, first and foremost. I want stay connected to my husband, my kids, and our family life. I want to hear my kids hearts. I want to know my husbands plans, thoughts, and ideas. I want to hear the heartbeat of God. The only way to do that is to keep my heart connected to theirs.
I have a tendency to pull back at times, and to seek refuge. Only I don’t do it in constructive ways. I just check out. I dig deeply into the internet, staring at people’s facebooks, not really getting anything out of it, except escape. I do not come back feeling recharged either. It’s just this blah, no point, escape. I think it relates to my battle with depression. I am learning to recognize it more and more. Therefore, it isn’t winning as much lately. Though I did take about 7 days off during Christmas Vacation. I find though, that when I do this, I just get cranky, and emotional, and like I want to climb in bed and pretend the whole world has gone away.
I am determined to fight the good fight of faith concerning depression in my life. I have found in the past that the way to win is to stay actively pursuing God, and I don’t mean to earn anything. It’s not a works mentality. It’s just that my heart has to stay connected to His heart. That recharges me!
We are homeschooling here still, though i am changing our curriculum choice, not because our first was a bad choice, but because it was a bad choice at such a young age for my kids. They can do none of it independently, and it is very time consuming and we weren’t getting all the work done even though I was doing school from 8-4. I have chosen some stuff we are going to do as a group, and that will free up a good portion of my day and I can actually do chores once again! LOL! I just have to turn in my paperwork, and receive our math program in the mail, and get to the Library to get our books! Our stuff will be based on awesome books! It is literature based, and it is so exciting! I can’t wait to get going!!! Come on! It’s time! 🙂 LOL I am more excited then the kids are. That’s the truth!
I already feel like I know my kids better since starting this journey. I get to hear their hearts more often. I also get to input more character building time, which is good. We are doing scripture memory and talking about what God expects of us. I love it!
Life is exciting…
OH and one more thing… I experienced my first miracle this year, my finger nail on my left hand has healed all by itself. Well, I mean, I am totally giving God the credit, but it is just amazing since my nail has been truly messed up for almost 14 years now. I had my nails done right before our wedding, and I got a fungus infection. My nail started to look weird, and then about a year after we married my nail tore up from the skin. I had to cut it back and it was literally a 1/4 of the length of a normal nail. It would not grow back, I tried, it would just curve downward into my skin. It would hurt, and I would have to keep it trimmed to nothing. Then this fall, it just grew back, it’s not past the end of my finger yet, but it is near the end, and it looks healthy!!! How did that happen???? I was told by a doctor that the only way to get a normal nail would be to take antifungul medications for months on end, and then it could seriously hurt my liver, so I never took the medications. I am so thankful for it finally growing back. Now no one has to ask me, “What happened to your finger?” ever again!!!!! WOOOHOOOOO!!!!!