The questions I am pondering…..

Oh, I am pretty sure a book has been written about this….. but alas, I ask the question to myself and to God anyway,

How do I capture their hearts in this homeschooling adventure?

My heart is captured by homeschooling. I read about a curriculum and books, and I buy them. Yes, I have spent a boat load of money. I love the idea of spending countless hours learning with my kids and seeing them grow and develop at their own rate. I made a huge mistake years ago, and now it is my own undoing as far as their hearts are concerned. I sent them to public school. Ok, I am not totally against public school, but for me and my house, it just wasn’t the right thing. I thought it was at the time. I have since learned that just wasn’t what I should of done, and trying to RE-capture their hearts is a daily struggle. They miss “having friends”, to me this is laughable because they had no more friends when they were going to public school then they do now. Yes, they spent more time socializing and being hurt by that socialization then they do now, and I guess they miss that. I don’t know. I know one thing, I am tired of hearing about it. It actually kind of hurts my feelings, and I don’t generally get hurt by the things my kids say. I think the reason it hurts my feelings is because I am pouring my entire being into school for them. I am working hard, I am planning, and I am sacrificing “ME” time because of my great love for them and my passion for them to learn and be successful. Don’t they know how great that love is? I know they are children and children say and do hurtful things, so because of that I forgive their words. I can’t promise though that my eyes won’t sting a little bit with tears each time they complain.

On a good note, I am working on mapping out their curriculum. I can see into January now, at least for math and language arts. I am feeling more content and more at peace. My days this fall are going to be full, but a good kind of full. πŸ™‚

Do you struggle with the words your children say about homeschooling?

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8 thoughts on “The questions I am pondering…..

  1. Hang in there! My kids have never been in a public school and they still say things I don’t want to hear. I think the hardest part is the lack of desire to try. They are willing to do poorly just because they don’t want to do school. All the time and energy I put into it and all I get are complaints and bad attitudes.

    Yet I persist and they know they won’t win the battle of wills. If we are doing the Lord’s will, then it will be done. They will eventually learn to stop grumbling and they will understand that learning is fun. Our point of view is based on the fact that we have lived it and know. Theirs is one based on what they naively think is what life should be about.

    You are doing an awesome job. Trust God to work through you.

  2. Anna, I am so glad you joined Three Thinking Mothers’ blog roll. All of us had our children in PS before we homeschooled. I believe in time it gets better and with prayer and perseverance their hearts are won. Many blessings to you on this journey!!

    ~Mary

    • Thanks Mary! I am trying desperately to figure out how to get your button on my page. I just did all kinds of work here sitting here trying to figure it out, but alas, I haven’t figured that one out yet. I would love to cause I have a list of buttons I want to add. πŸ™‚ I love Three Thinking Mothers! πŸ™‚

  3. Anna,

    Like Mary said, it will get better! My girls were in PS until they were 7 and 9. It takes a LONG time to undo the school way of doing and thinking. Don’t think of school as a huge mistake that you have to undo. You will always be living up to a ideal that you have created of what perfection is. Just like school is not perfect, neither is homeschooling. We have fantastically great days and we have fantastically crappy ones too! What gets me through is writing. I write the good and the bad. I reflect on it. I reread my words. I see how much we are learning, and growing and succeeding. I notice that the good days far outweigh the bad ones and in fact it is rare to have a bad day….just a bad moment that feels like an entire day!

    My biggest advice. Give them time. Don’t push too hard. When they deschool they will begin to understand in their own way the new freedoms they have and the battles will become less and less.

    ~Jessica @ Teachable Moments and Three Thinking Mothers.

  4. Jessica, Thank you so much for this! I can’t wait for them to realize the new freedoms they have! I can’t wait until I can say that bad days are rare! πŸ™‚

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