Submit really means faith in God

There are some women in my life who have been asking me about the dirty word of chrstianity, SUBMIT. What does it mean to submit? Does it really apply to today? I am not sure I am an authority on this topic. I have not been the most submissive wife. I have, though, changed and grown up a lot since the first year of our marriage.

During our first year of marriage, I had no trust for my husband in any area. Particularly, money, though. He was not good at paying his bills, and we were both a mess financially. I took the reigns of our money at first and I was able to pay down some bills and fix stuff. Then, it all got messy. Finally, at one point, I felt God tell me to give him the checkbook and have him take care of the finances. I needed to trust him. And he did that for a couple years.
Then he gave it back to me. He was busy going to school and didn’t have time for it, and since I was home it made sense at the time. We went along like that for awhile, but for the last couple years, I have felt in over my head. Now we have his student loans and credit card debt, and the burden of all that stuff was proving to be too much for my heart. So, I began begging him to take it back. I needed him to carry the burden, and to see where we were at financially. For years, he went about completely clueless. I say this without meaning to disrespect, just explaining the situation. He would ask me if he could buy something, or spend money, and I would say yes or no. Rarely no, because it’s his money, I felt I owed him something. Yet, all I could see was us going further and further into debt, and me further and further into FREAK OUT mode about our finances.
Finally, about three months ago, my husband took over our finances. I have had the reigns though for so long, that my controlling freak side began to come out of me. Instead of laying down my burden and relaxing, I felt panic begin to set in even more. I lost that trust I had in Dustin to be able to handle it. But the truth is, he is better able to handle it then he used to be, because he is an engineer and more meticulous about little things then he ever used to be.
I have felt God once again calling to me, telling me, that by allowing Dustin to hold the reigns of our finances truly means having FAITH IN GOD. God chose Dustin to lead my family, and me trusting him with our family finances is definitely trusting God with my whole heart. God never fails, people do. So, submitting to my husband is truly submitting to God’s will for my life and allowing Him to take care of me the way He loves to do.

God doesn’t call us to submit because he thinks we are stupid women, but because He is a God who has ordained blessings to flow through authority. He gave us husbands to be the authority in our home, and through him God can bless us and take care of us.

Have faith in God today, women! 🙂


6 thoughts on “Submit really means faith in God

  1. Yes, but isn’t amazing that He gives us the brains to be financially capable? I think of references in Proverbs 31 regarding the wisdom a woman uses with money.

    Good for you for submitting to him…I know it’s hard. It’s very hard when the men in the home feel they have enough work to do and they have you do it. I know we have been very lax lately in the “checkbook” department. I told him a long time ago I wanted him to be in charge, it wasn’t my job. My job is to run the household…his to provide. He has been very good about keeping up on charges and such, making sure they are legit. I am proud of my man. Now, balancing a checkbook? Hmmm. I’ll work on him some more. 😀

    • You know what? God calls us all to different walks of faith. God knows that money is a huge issue for me because in my family history, men were selfish with money and withheld money from their wives and children. So, for me to put money in his hands when I could control it myself is a test of my faith in God. For others, it may be totally different things. I find that when a women tries to control in her marriage it is always rooted in fear. For me, it was a fear that he doesn’t love me enough to take care of me and the kids, because the men in my family history were that way.

      • I can imagine how difficult it is. When my hubby and I were engaged, I was given quite the blow when I found out he hadn’t balanced his checkbook in two years! Oh, my! We sat there one night trying to balance it together. It was horrible. I am sure he was completely embarrassed about it and it nearly ended the engagement.

        Unfortunately, my mom told me I needed to make sure I took over the finances. I did. This didn’t help him learn. I eventually read some things regarding finances and how important it is for the husband to be in control and I told him it was for him to do. Right now, we sort of do it together. However, with the move to the US coming up, he will need to prepare for the full load again. My job is to make sure the money buys what we need to be fed and clothed. His is to make sure it’s where it needs to be and balancing out. You get the point.

  2. Good post!

    I think it can work fine for a wife to be doing the checkbook and keeping the finances in order, BUT BUT BUT the husband needs to be totally aware of what is going on. In your case, it sounds like your husband just didn’t know what was going on at all — it was just “can I buy something” instead of understanding your financial situation. I say that I think either partner CAN keep the finances in order because people have different personalities, and having a very meticulous personality is helpful. In our marriage, my husband keeps track of everything because he is a very careful person and I just get totally frustrated with being so careful. He’s one of those people that tries to know everything down to the penny. Before our marriage, I balanced my checkbook but very poorly and it never came out right. The key is that it has to be a partnership. I look at our Quicken spreadsheets often, and my dh and I sit down every month or so and I can see what our financial situation is.

    I love too that you say that for you, this is a matter of trust! God is totally calling you to this! I understand fear very well, and giving way to fear in various areas. My husband is more of a spender than I am but he is careful and I’ve learned to be calm about money now … or at least calmer. I still trust it too much and have to remember God is our provider, not a bank account.

    • I certainly do not mean to imply that wives cannot handle the finances, I was talking about the journey to submit for me has included handing over the family finances, because it is a hard area for me to trust him in. This is about my issues in trusting him as a God given leadership in our home, and not about who should control the finances. 🙂 We all have our own areas we need to grow in as wives.

      • Amen to that, Anna! It is such a journey to trust the Lord BY trusting my husband. I am still working on that though I’m farther along than I was at the beginning of our marriage — so encouraging to look back and see how God has worked in the last almost 15 years! And I would say that any marriage where the wife is doing all the finances and the husband knows almost nothing about what is going on is at risk for trouble. It is too much of a burden for a wife (or indeed a husband) to pay bills, keep things organized, etc. if the other spouse doesn’t take any responsibility or knows nothing about what is going on…

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