Family- a word with meaning………..

The word family has great meaning for me. Not because I have this awesome close knit family, but because I DON’T have this awesome close knit family. I am drawn to those who do have that and I am intrigued by what having a bunch of people that I call “family” being close to my heart. I can’t imagine, and the likes of which makes me feel very unsafe. (this is my truth)

Sharing such things on my blog feels unsafe, but I do share because it is at my core and it is eating at me lately. The wounds of the past creep their way into my every day, and healing comes so slowly.

I walk through loving my true blood family daily, it’s a concentrated effort. This is not referring to my children, but it is for them as well. My picture in my mind of what a family SHOULD be is not often what plays out in my daily life. I keep pressing on though, in order to some day show my children what love really looks like, what family really looks like.

Do I even know what family really looks like? I don’t even know. I keep praying that God will show me and that He will hold my hand through loving and raising my children. I know the type of love they deserve. I know the type of love they need. Lord, help me to be that kind of love to them.

Family to me though is not defined by my blood line only, but by those who come into my life and who stay there. They are there to support me, and love me, no matter what. This is true family, to me. Acceptance. Love. Support. True. Faithful. Joy. Peace.

I am thankful for those who have come into my life and who have remained…. 🙂


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