In the last two years, I had more people confide in me about their marriages and marriage issues then I care to count. I feel ill equipped to advise anyone, though I do share the things I have learned with them. After 15 years of marriage, and a super rocky start, I do think I know a thing or two about how to make your marriage more successful. I can only advise someone on their part in the marriage though, and marriage takes two people fully committed to make it successful. Two people, AND one very awesome GOD! That’s it right there, my marriage counselor is God. My marriage counsel comes from the Bible. If I live according to His words, I will be successful in most areas of my life. Even in the midst of great persecution and trials. I think my marriage has had a lot of those two things. I can’t say that we have never considered divorce, because that would be lying. In fact, just months after we said “I DO”, we looked at each other in tears and said, “This is hard, and every part of me wants a divorce, but I love you so much and I don’t really want a divorce.” Putting two people with different backgrounds together in one house and building one life is hard work. He had annoying habits, and I had annoying habits. Put that together with miscarriage, and financial irresponsibility… and you have a disastrous combination. I wish I could say, God came in and solved all our problems and we were instantly changed into perfect people, with a perfect marriage. Not even close. Daily, we work, together. If I had a dime for all the times God pointed out to me my selfishness, I would be a rich woman. God’s focus is you. Always you. He never talks to you about what’s wrong with your spouse, unless He is teaching you to be more patient, loving, and unselfish towards them. Life did get better and easier for us, and we did grow as people and as a married couple. We still have issues, but we have great love for each other, and respect for one another. No marriage is perfect, you just learn to accept each other and to work out the issues.
My key verse as a wife is this one…..
The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.